On Marriage

This is a story about marriage.

The innocent love between Sir Jean Paul Macbeth and Lady Constance Macbeth soon deteriorated dramatically upon their arrival in Hong Kong. In a society that looked down upon new Chinese immigrants, the couple had to work extra hard for a living. Naturally, one thing must be sacrificed for another. Theirs was financial sufficiency and marriage. These two things worked always as good pals in Werther Armand’s childhood. So, when the kindergarten mistress went on flipping the happily-ever-after fairy tale book in the classroom saying,

“When two people are in love, they get married.”

He raised his little hand and asked, “Is marriage always happy because my mama and papa argue every day?”

The mistress was stunned by such a sharp question coming from a 5 year old kid while the happy-ever-after imagination of the whole class was still fresh. Not knowing what to do, the class keeper shouted at the culprit for speaking of nonsense and sent him to stand outside the classroom.

One might have many lovers and friends in a lifetime, but not parents. Werther Armand grew up in the absence of marriage. He never had the concept of what marriage should be like except that hint of “in love” from the fairy tale. He told himself that he might not know about marriage, but he knew about love. He was and would be in love with that yet-to-be super model Marguerite Karenina. So, in the name of love, Werther Armand, at the age of 5, asked Marguerite Karenina if she would marry him.

“Are you going to have a big house 10 minutes from the city because I will have to have tea with the girls in downtown every weekend. And, my mama says that a girl as pretty as me shall marry some Prince Charming with lots and lots of money who buys me lots and lots of clothes and jewelry, and then we live happily ever after. Plus, I must have that dream wedding designer dress from Vivienne Westwood and the wedding banquet has to be in the Peninsula hotel…”

Were there too many unfamiliar luxury terms for a 5 year lad and too familiar for a girl of his age at that time? Of course, even 20 years later, it is still unlikely for an ordinary man (99% of us) to fulfill such an unrealistic wish. I was, am and I believe I will be completely knocked out by the fact that marriage is a mixture of wedding dress, banquet, house mortgage, but not as the kindergarten teacher quoted from the fairy tale, love.

I am unfortunate and fortunate that my parents do not leave anything concrete about marriage to me. It is difficult to encounter a woman today who has not been indoctrinated by a cash-burning dream marriage while I am completely immune to that. It is even more absurd that many young women I encountered in my 1st quarter of my life (I am optimistic to have another 75 years to live) regard marriage as a destination of love. Well, I wonder, if a woman gets married at her late twenties, she will still have a few dozens of years to stay with her husband. Metaphorically speaking, if love is a car, where will it go when it reaches its destination? It stops! In conclusion, marriage is the end of love. Love dies in a couple right away after marriage. Shall I say, in order to save love, a couple should never get married? Then I was told, marriage is love 2.0, it’s just like the Internet and the new Internet…

Oh no, I am getting so confused. First, there is the wedding dress, house, then money, and now the Internet? What is wrong with simply being in love? Do we need so many vocabularies in love? Going back to my metaphor, why do we not keep the car moving forward, love does not need a destination, does it?

“My boy, it doesn’t make sense your metaphor. Your car will crash or run out of gasoline if you drive it without a destination.” Lady Macbeth was peeking at his son’s monitor.

Right, mother, you want me to drive love to an unhappy marriage destination just like you and dad? Could you be more constructive and give me an alternative instead of threatening me?

Bye for now, see you next blog.


2 thoughts on “On Marriage

  1. Pingback: On Marriage 2 | Romance of the Chinese man

  2. Pingback: On Love 2 | Romance of the Chinese man

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