On Courage

This is a story about courage.

Kids are fearless. They are not afraid of anything not because they are not, but because they are unaware of the fearful consequences.  Werther Armand is no exception. When his father lectured him to be a man, he was told that God had given men a pair of balls to intensify our courage. Therefore, men should not be frightened of pain, misery and death. Little Werther Armand did not even know how to write those words in Chinese, though he remembered well the formula that balls equalled to bravery. Perhaps most young boys had undergone the same course with their father because we began at a very young age to judge each others’ courage in terms of the size of our balls in the men’s room. (It actually excited me to imagine what the girls had done in the women’s room.)

The relationship between testicles and courage is a mysterious one. It is obvious that my father was planting some confidence in my little boyhood so that I would dare to pee alone at night. (Apparently, he was lazy getting up at night to go with me,  he should be the real champion liar of our family.) I am now a grown-up and I pee by myself. Shall I consider it as a recognition of my gigantic balls? (Please let me be a little bit self-flattering.) The thing is, normally and naturally, hearing of any physical threat against our testicles, we men just shrink to the smallest size with our hands covering the precious (with Gollum‘s voice). Having a pair of balls does not embolden us. It makes us in the permanent fear of losing them and eventually weakens us.

So, having understood this phobia, I ask myself if removing them would make me a true courageous man and let the voice of my heart speaks fearlessly in whatever situation. Then, I find myself in a perpetual paradox. Can a man be a man without balls? No! That will make me a eunuch and I cannot make love to all my lovely mistresses! This is so complicated! We men are trapped in this testicular courage myth! What shall I do to be a real courageous man…

During this crisis, Werther Armand’s mother asked him to set the table for dinner. He was so annoyed for her disturbing his serious reasoning and confronted his mother saying that a ball-less woman would not understand the melancholy of man. His mother made a fierce statement and untied immediately the perplexity of the issue:

“Screw you little dickhead! Stop teasing us for not having that pair of ugly organ or I will chop yours off and slice them into pieces to feed the pigeons in the park of our neighborhood!”

Now I understand. If a man wants to be brave, he cannot have his balls; if a man wants to have his balls, he cannot be brave. Balls, to have  or not to have, that is the question!

Bye for now, see you next blog!

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3 thoughts on “On Courage

  1. Sorry to burst your little fantasy, but, to the best of my knowledge what women do in the women’s room is mostly answer nature’s call, gossip and sometimes sing.

    So much angst for such tiny balls (I mean, in general, not yours, can’t say that I know precisely how big yours are…) What would it be had you been born a big-breasted girl!

  2. I can tell you that being big-breasted (actually, you know too my lovely Malfaou) has nothing to do with courage.

  3. Pingback: On Hello and Good-bye « Romance of the Chinese man

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